if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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