I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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