do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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