K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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