he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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