My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize