plz talk dirty to me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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