you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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