I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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