oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize