you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Green mimosas i think yes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize