I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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