I wanna passion pit in your ass
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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