I just threw up on my dentist
Who wears a wallet chain?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize