Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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