you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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