i think i have two assholes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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