WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize