bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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