I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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