It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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