Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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