your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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