dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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