forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This toilet bowl is my home.
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