i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize