we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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