I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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