The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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