he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize