You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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