Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
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I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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