i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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