Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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