Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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