I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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