Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize