it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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