Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize