dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
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