There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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