it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You dont lie about slip and slides
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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