I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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