Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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