WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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