I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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