the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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