My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize