I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize