You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize